


Sober

by FireboltRose7559



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, Armitage Hux is a Jerk, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hux Is Heartless, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Reader is madly in love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 00:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14147589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireboltRose7559/pseuds/FireboltRose7559
Summary: You know Armitage does not care for you but that does not stop you from loving him with all your heartBased on "Sober" by Selena GomezAlso I am terrible at summaries





	Sober

**"Sober"**

 

_ We fall for each other at the wrong time _

_ Only for a moment, but I don't mind _

_ Guess I don't know where to draw the line, the line, the line _

_ And we'll play the same game every night _

 

Armitage was in your quarters, again. Honestly the man was insatiable, but so were you. You and Armitage had what could be called a “Friends-with-benefits” situation but the thing was that he only “loved” you when he was drunk and high. If he ever touched you or tried anything when he was sober, it just did not feel the same, did not feel  _ real. _ You knew you should stop this, draw a line somewhere, but you were far too deep in this mess to do anything. You loved the man with every fiber of your being, but didn't tell him that for you knew he would leave you and never come back, for the two of you had started this ‘relationship’ only cause you agreed not to involve feelings, you were just a casual fuck for him.

 

_ Up in the clouds _

_ Yeah, you know how to make me want you _

_ When we come down _

_ Oh, I know, yeah I know, it's over _

 

Whenever the man got drunk he would come over to your quarters. The moment he would enter you knew what would happen but you were powerless to stop him for while he got high on alcohol, you got high on his touch. Armitage knew exactly how to make you want him, he had a lot of practice after all. Even when you thought that ‘No! Today I will tell him to stop’ he would saunter in and make you make you melt in his arms with just a kiss. He would then make love to you or fuck you depending on how his day went, but no matter what you always felt that he truly felt something for you in those moments when both of you are chasing your climaxes. But the moment you got down from you highs, even though he fell asleep after wrapping you in his arms the illusion of him truly loving you would shatter.

 

_ You don't know how to love me when you're sober _

_ When the bottle's done you pull me closer _

_ You're saying all the things that you're supposed to _

_ But you don't know how to love me when you're sober _

 

You knew underneath all of it, Armitage did not care for you at all, to him you were just the girl who he had sex with. All that he did with you was just an after effect of getting drunk and the simple fact that you were easy to get. With you in the side he does not have to go after girls to satisfy his desires, he just has to show up at your doorstep and you would take him in with open arms, and how could you not you loved the man. By the maker, the things that he said when he was drunk sent your heart soaring and gave you butterflies, but in the morning after he was back to his usual self, and no matter how much he smiled or kissed or complimented you, you never felt the same, for you he just simply did not know how to love you when he was sober.

 

_ Why is it so different when we wake up? _

_ Same lips, same kiss, but not the same touch _

_ Don't you know that you doing just enough, but not enough? _

_ But I know what's next, and I want so much _

 

Whenever you would wake up in the morning after a night with him, he would greet you with a kiss and have another passionate romp with you and while what he did was enough to get you going it was never enough to satisfy your emotional needs. For some strange reason his touch felt different then, almost as the emotion that was there behind it all the previous night was gone then. But even with all of this you still wanted him, for the General of the First Order knew what he was doing and took you to highs that you knew no other man could ever even hope to reach.

 

_ Up in the clouds _

_ Yeah, you know how to make me want you _

_ When we come down _

_ Oh, I know, yeah I know, it's over _

_ You don't know how to love me when you're sober _

_ When the bottle's done you pull me closer _

_ You're saying all the things that you're supposed to _

_ But you don't know how to love me when you're sober _

 

You knew that the ginger man was a womanizer and had many before you and should you leave would have many other women waiting in line for him and that thought made you cling on to whatever it was that the two of you had, for you simply could not bear the thought of him being with someone else. So you accepted the fact that every time your lover would come to you, you would end up breaking your heart even more. You knew Armitage was incapable of feeling true love, for his one true love was the First Order, and his only goal was it's advancement and while their would many women in his bed, there would be none in his heart, for he was the cold-blooded General, who could order the destruction of a whole planet just to make sure that the First Order did not have any obstacles in its path to greatness. So you accepted the drunken trysts that you had with him would all you could ever hope for from him.

 

_ I know I should leave, I know I should, should, should _

_ But your love's too good, your love's too good, good, good _

_ I know I should leave, I know I should, should, should _

_ But your love's too good, your love's too good, good, good _

_ Yeah! _

 

You knew this was not good for you, and it was disturbing you mentally, but your heart overruled your mind and you simply went back to same old routine without a word. There were moments were logic made a strong stand but all of your memories with him would come crashing down on you like a tidal wave, and remembering how good it felt to be the object of his false, twisted affections made you happy and you were back to square one.

 

_ You don't know how to love me when you're sober _

_ When the bottle's done you pull me closer _

_ You're saying all the things that you're supposed to _

_ But you don't know how to love me when you're sober _

_ You've got a hold on me _

_ You're like a wasted dream _

_ I give you everything _

_ But you don't know how to love me when you're sober _

  
  


You woke up alone on your bed, the other side of the bed cold, telling you that he had already left leaving you alone to tend to you broken heart, and you could not help but curl in on your self and cry a bit, knowing that he would never return your feelings, but a small irrational part of your mind that still believed in happily ever afters and fairy tales thought that one day Armitage would simply realize how much he loved you and the two of you would have a happy life, together, as more than just fuck-buddies. It was the same part that made you give him everything night after night and expect a different reaction. Was not that a sign of madness, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Perhaps you were insane, but only insanely in love with a man who would never love you unless his blood was saturated by alcohol.


End file.
